Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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