We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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