Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
