so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
