Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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