i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
