Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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