I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
