I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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