Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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