I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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