Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
