watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And then he peed in my hair
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