Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
