Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need a beard to bite.
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