You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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