Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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