Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
