bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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