You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
