absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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