I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
