just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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