hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
