these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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