Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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