but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
