I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
