that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
