Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
