last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
