So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
