the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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