Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
