I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The air taste purple.
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