so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
