I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I deserve this hangover.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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