If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
