can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
