Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
