Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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