Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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