Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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