im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
