the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
