K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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