I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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