Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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