Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We're too hungover to prance.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
