Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
